every night
when i closed my eyes
i saw myself
hanging by a thread
i saw dread
around my neck
a rope you had braided
i wanted you back
i wanted to die
i wanted to talk
to you again
but i couldn’t
so i started
to write
you a letter
to read
when i died
i wanted it to stop
but i just kept writing
and pretty soon
it wasn’t a suicide letter
anymore
it was a suicide novel
and by the time
i had finished
when it was all
said and done
i had realized
my life was just fiction
and i was the antagonist